Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
