think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
