i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
