did you get engaged???
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
