its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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