You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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