i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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