So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
