I am spending my child support on dildos
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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