I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
