sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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