arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
