Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize