Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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