Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
