Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
