Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize