Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
