just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
