On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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