Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
