Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
