i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I showed him my bush... on skype.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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