Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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