About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
