is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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