Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
