see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
