too bad you live with your parents still
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
