I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
