its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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