He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize