It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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