you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
