i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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