All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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