i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
