We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize