the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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