It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
