We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize