one might say we're banned from that church
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
