Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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