my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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