Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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