Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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