i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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