Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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