you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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