Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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