There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
