Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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