I love black thongs
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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