Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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