Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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