my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
