Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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