We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
