what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
