My brain says no but my pants say off.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize