OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Found the puke drawer
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
