I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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