weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
