So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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